I’m kelly johnson, and you may know me from my time in the cupcakes and cashmere universe (2018-2025, RIP.) I’m a writer and reality TV enthusiast who eats ranch on everything and can’t shut up about all the various things constantly ping-ponging around in my brain. I have a very soft heart, but I’m not afraid to have tough conversations and I don’t need you to like me but I do want my work to change your life (or maybe just brighten your day)!!! *cries in enneagram 4*
THE OPT OUT is a newsletter about taking the road less traveled. It’s a look at womanhood without motherhood, especially as it’s reflected in the media, politics, and pop-culture, in a way that doesn’t pit parents and non-parents against each other. This newsletter is a reflection of what I’m seeing in various media (tv, books, movies, articles) and the world around me, and how it relates to opting out of norms and societal expectations that just don’t feel right. Especially discourse around deciding whether or not you want to have children, and everything that comes afterwards. Especially as it relates to purpose, perception, and navigating our friendships.
Right now, THE OPT OUT is my full time job for the first time since I started writing on Substack in 2022. I lost my job very suddenly and then made the ‘Culture’ leaderboard for the first time in April 2025, hitting the #1 Rising spot next to Glennon Doyle and I’ll never be over it:
Here’s what people are saying about THE OPT OUT:
“A letter from your wise but funny yet kind friend” – Cass (an IRL friend of mine, she’s biased)
“The safest place on the internet” – Emily
“Read one of Kelly’s issues and you’ll probably want to send her a message asking to be friends” –
“As always, f*ing nailed it!!” – Karen
“Such a good read, week after week. I read every word and always leave with something to think about for days afterward.” – Cait
For a taste of my best past work for Substack, see:
“So, I lost my job.”
“Does parenthood change friendships?”
”Am I too old for a bachelorette party?”
“On being a woman in America”
”Chappell Roan said parenting looks like hell”
”Should I change my last name?”
”I hope you don’t think I’m a child-hating witch”
“Various stages of capitalist desperation”
”What is reality right now?”
”Baby showers & egg freezing”
”My parents are voting for Trump… again”
”We Live In (a terrifying) Time”
My weekly Friday issues are free to read, which include essays, stories/questions from THE OPT OUT community (submit your own here), a list of things I think you should read, and book recommendations. Comments are open to everyone as long as things stay chill! Just don’t be an asshole and come jump into the discourse with me. I want to hear from you!
Every Sunday from May - September, paid subscribers will have full access to the Sheila Heti Summer Slow Read, which is a weird zombie hybrid between a book club and a podcast, where we’ll be reading and discussing Motherhood by Sheila Heti all summer long. This “important cultural artifact” (The Los Angeles Review of Books) is “a dear friend to my soul: a reassuring balm, a giddy compatriot, and also, just, exquisite” (a random reviewer on Goodreads) – maybe it will change your life as much as it changed mine?
Paid subscribers also get access to my monthly ins/outs list, which include only my best recommendations from the month. (I do occasionally use affiliate links in these issues, but I promise never to tell you something is good if it actually sucks.)
Thrilled you’re here, might cry, see you soon? x
K bye,
Kelly
@hey_kellyj
