Hey! This issue covers Chapter 2 of the Ruby Warrington Winter Slow Read—a 10 week journey through the book Women Without Kids. New episodes drop every Sunday from February to early April. If you want to start at the beginning or read more about what we’re doing here, head on over to the Introduction. The first 15(ish) minutes of each episode are free to listen to!
Welcome back! 🪐 This is Chapter 2: Origin Stories, where we’re diving deep into where we came from and how that’s informed our decisions not to have kids. My guest for today is Katherine, who I realized roughly two minutes into recording that I had actually talked to before this! Katherine and I first met via Zoom after the Sheila Heti Summer Slow Read ended last summer (I’m sorry for being so slow, Katherine!!) but she was more than gracious while I fumbled through this realization, and it was an absolute pleasure chatting with her again. Katherine’s 2025 was a massive year of growth, decision making, and self discovery, and it is an honor that she was willing to share this glimpse into her life with us. 🥹
✨ Introducing today’s guest—
Katherine (35, plant parent, highly opinionated) works in health tech and spent last year traveling full time and focusing on personal growth. She is on a mission to find meaning in a child-free life and notably does not have social media. A midwest native, she recently relocated to Portland, OR because she felt like it and keeps herself busy with hiking, skiing, reading, traveling, and seeking out the next great doughnut.
Taking what works and leaving behind what doesn’t (page 44)
“In a way, embracing our lives and our legacies as women without kids must begin with an acknowledgement of our families of origin—and specifically the ways in which the experiences of our mothers, and their mothers before them, have shaped us. These are the individuals that literally made us who we are today, and it is part of our evolutionary path to simultaneously emulate and reject their influence, taking what works and leaving behind what doesn’t. This is how evolution works; as such, we are both destined to follow in their footsteps and to seek to improve on their lot.”—Ruby Warrington
Timestamps:
0:45 — Introducing Katherine and how she came to her parenthood decision (aka listen to me excitedly realize we've talked before in real time lol)
6:30 — Reading the above excerpt, plus some thoughts about our maternal grandmothers (who neither of us ever met)
14:00 — The messages we internalized from our mothers (pg. 51)
21:00 — Katherine’s relationship with her brother, who has a mild form of cerebral palsy (and how their parents treated them differently), plus the kind of shocking thing Katherine’s mother told her a few years ago
29:20 — A little bit of what my husband shared on the Sheila Heti Summer Slow Read (episodes #4 and #16 for reference)
33:30 — Emotional inheritance, and what the “feeling tone” of our childhood homes were like (pg. 42-43), plus a little bit about found family
47:15 — Being an aunt to our friends’ kids, and a vision that one of us had while on magic mushrooms
52:45 — Being around infants and young children creating feelings of discomfort (pg. 50), plus a bit about how Katherine and I are the first women in our extended families not to have kids
54:50 — All roads eventually lead back to reality TV 😉 (And how the U.S. is totally lagging behind the U.K.)
For anyone who needs to make a decision fast, may we direct you to Nell Wulfhart, the “decision coach” who helped Katherine finally make a decision on whether she wanted to become a parent so she could get back to living her life!
P.S. As always, if you are extremely passionate about all of this and want to chat with me 1:1, check out my PHONE A FRIEND sessions :) Use code “RUBY” for 20% off from now until April 30th.
