To add a counter-balance to Susan, I met a woman in her 70s on a trail in Portland last week with her husband. We got to chatting and I learned they're child-free by choice. I asked if she ever regretted it and she said, "Maybe... for about two minutes, other than that never!!"
I had a hilarious conversation with a young cousin last year. He lives in a different part of the world, where it’s less common for people to be together past a certain age/dating timeline without being married and having children. My partner and I have been together for 8 years, and my cousin asked me when we were going to get married, because according to him, my partner (who is in his late 30’s) is getting too old to be able to play with our inevitable future children. I told him we aren’t planning to have children, and that if we get married someday, that it didn’t need to be an indication of our potential to be parents. He just accepted my answer with a shrug and the conversation changed subjects.
It was a funny exchange, and also I appreciated that he seemed unbothered by my answer, despite my choices not being the norm in his world.
We love an unbothered king (but also I will never understand why some people believe that the only reason to get married is to have kids like what lol)
one time i was in new orleans and i had my palm read by a woman in the square. she said, ill read your palms for $20. i said, i have $10, what can i get with that? she said she’d do one hand. she grabbed my hand, and without even looking at it (plus one of her eyes was a lazy eye, which i assumed looked into the spirit world), tells me i’ll live a long life, get married, no divorce, 2-3 kids, happy life. the whole time my eyebrows are at my hairline. i was cracking up after because i was thinking, wow she has no idea who she’s talking to lol. maybe one day ill foster a kid but im not even married yet and im turning 37 tomorrow (though to be fair i am engaged)
About 10 years ago I ran into a friends big brother and after the usual two minutes of awkward small talk he asked me if I already had kids and when I told him I didn't he was completely perplexed, telling me I should hurry up because I wouldn't get any younger and no man would want to have kids with me if I got any older. I'm 35 now, still no kids, quite alright with it 🤷🏼♀️🙌🏻
When my boyfriend and I hadn't even been dating for a year, we heard rumblings from loved ones (who we're not close with/are essentially strangers to us) that we needed to have kids already! Wild stuff
Society (mostly older generations) is so conditioned that “having kids” is the default that hopefully in time (sooner rather than later, please?) those comments won’t be common! The way you talk about it and phrase it makes it so obvious how weird it can be (“try it!” with “it” being having kids…um lol???).
For what it is worth, even when you do have a child (I have 1 and happy with just the 1) , people will still ask about when and if we’re considering another. 🤷🏻♀️
Just smile and nod and live your best life, the one that fits you best! ❤️
I have three older sisters, all with two children (and one is pregnant with a third). I love my nieces and nephews a crazy amount, AND my husband and I don't want children of our own. Whenever it comes up (read: my family brings it up), my mom just says "oh but you would be such a great mom!" And like.....that's not the issue? My whole family is constantly trying to fix the 'problems' I bring up with having children, and if I say "well I just don't want them", they say "you might change your mind. You would be such a good mom!" And then we start the whole cycle over again.
To add a counter-balance to Susan, I met a woman in her 70s on a trail in Portland last week with her husband. We got to chatting and I learned they're child-free by choice. I asked if she ever regretted it and she said, "Maybe... for about two minutes, other than that never!!"
Okay I love that!! Two minutes of regret we can handle!
chaosss demon. Thank you for this term it feels a lot more festive than black sheep or scapegoat
MORE FESTIVE I’m dead ☠️ and you’re so right
I had a hilarious conversation with a young cousin last year. He lives in a different part of the world, where it’s less common for people to be together past a certain age/dating timeline without being married and having children. My partner and I have been together for 8 years, and my cousin asked me when we were going to get married, because according to him, my partner (who is in his late 30’s) is getting too old to be able to play with our inevitable future children. I told him we aren’t planning to have children, and that if we get married someday, that it didn’t need to be an indication of our potential to be parents. He just accepted my answer with a shrug and the conversation changed subjects.
It was a funny exchange, and also I appreciated that he seemed unbothered by my answer, despite my choices not being the norm in his world.
We love an unbothered king (but also I will never understand why some people believe that the only reason to get married is to have kids like what lol)
one time i was in new orleans and i had my palm read by a woman in the square. she said, ill read your palms for $20. i said, i have $10, what can i get with that? she said she’d do one hand. she grabbed my hand, and without even looking at it (plus one of her eyes was a lazy eye, which i assumed looked into the spirit world), tells me i’ll live a long life, get married, no divorce, 2-3 kids, happy life. the whole time my eyebrows are at my hairline. i was cracking up after because i was thinking, wow she has no idea who she’s talking to lol. maybe one day ill foster a kid but im not even married yet and im turning 37 tomorrow (though to be fair i am engaged)
Wow I clearly need to get my palm read and happy belated birthday!!!
About 10 years ago I ran into a friends big brother and after the usual two minutes of awkward small talk he asked me if I already had kids and when I told him I didn't he was completely perplexed, telling me I should hurry up because I wouldn't get any younger and no man would want to have kids with me if I got any older. I'm 35 now, still no kids, quite alright with it 🤷🏼♀️🙌🏻
You were TWENTY FIVE when this conversation happened????? The men need help
When my boyfriend and I hadn't even been dating for a year, we heard rumblings from loved ones (who we're not close with/are essentially strangers to us) that we needed to have kids already! Wild stuff
Okay that is WILD though, people are nosy
Society (mostly older generations) is so conditioned that “having kids” is the default that hopefully in time (sooner rather than later, please?) those comments won’t be common! The way you talk about it and phrase it makes it so obvious how weird it can be (“try it!” with “it” being having kids…um lol???).
We can hope!!!!
For what it is worth, even when you do have a child (I have 1 and happy with just the 1) , people will still ask about when and if we’re considering another. 🤷🏻♀️
Just smile and nod and live your best life, the one that fits you best! ❤️
SO true wow you’re right!!
I have three older sisters, all with two children (and one is pregnant with a third). I love my nieces and nephews a crazy amount, AND my husband and I don't want children of our own. Whenever it comes up (read: my family brings it up), my mom just says "oh but you would be such a great mom!" And like.....that's not the issue? My whole family is constantly trying to fix the 'problems' I bring up with having children, and if I say "well I just don't want them", they say "you might change your mind. You would be such a good mom!" And then we start the whole cycle over again.
It’s like a washing machine, wash rinse and repeat (someday they’ll get it… surely…)