I drink maybe once a week at most (sometimes go weeks without drinking), but I don’t normally have just 1 glass of wine, it’s usually 2 or 3. I’ve had similar issues as I’ve gotten older and also want to cut down on calories to get in better shape (also need to work on cutting out how much sugar I have), and have been looking for NA drinks for a “nightcap.” I’d love to know what people do/ consume after a long hard day or to wind down. For me, tea, writing, and watching tv hasn’t really helped. Also, trying to find NA substitutes that aren’t more expensive than alcohol has been hard for me. I’m open to suggestions!!
Also, does anyone else have this odd way of relating drinking something like a glass of wine with feeling like an adult or is it just me? 😂
This has been my exact experience as I’ve gotten older. I can usually have one drink and be ok, but more than one (even if spread out over an entire day, plenty of water, etc) triggers my insomnia and gives me horrible body anxiety the next day. I was never a huge drinker, but I’ve also cut back in the past year just to avoid feeling like shit — the drinks aren’t worth losing a whole day! It’s been nice to see restaurants start to offer more NA options on their drink menus, because I do still love to order a silly lil beverage when I go out, and getting to do it without tempting the hangover gods is great.
I am definitely this way, and it's not getting easier into my 40s. I also am not a supplements gal, but would love to hear if others have tried any and if they work!
With my husband and I having our own winery, I am in an interesting position with a lot of the same issues you raised. The one that seems to cause me the most issue is my 2am insomnia following a glass or two of wine. I have noticed that I generally don’t have the same issues with our own wines (lighter bodied Oregon Willamette Valley)
I stopped drinking almost two years ago and had zero intention of it lasting this long, but only positive things have happened as a result, so I have had no reason to start again. As you note, the proliferation of NA options--both in stores and on restaurant menus--has meant that I can still participate in many of the rituals around drinking (a cocktail at the fancy bar, a beer after work, a drink at a party) without any of the negative health effects of alcohol, which include not only bad hangovers but a myriad of other things. “Quit Like a Woman” and a few episodes of Liz Moody’s podcast dig into all the health issues surrounding alcohol if anyone is interested.
Whether to drink and what and how much are all very personal choices, and I used to drink A LOT and loved it--everything from the social lubrication to the pleasure of a great wine pairing to taking in the world with a fun buzz--so I totally get it that giving it up entirely can sound daunting. I never say I’m never going to drink again because I could see myself getting to a place where I have a drink once or twice a year. But with all the great NA options, I could also see myself staying the course. Again, no judgment to anyone who likes to drink, but it’s so nice knowing I will always wake up feeling good, I will remember everything I said and did the night before, and I am never going to cancel plans due to a hangover (I started having 2-3 day hangovers 😵💫).
If you’re questioning you’re relationship with alcohol, I would suggest checking out some books/articles/podcasts on the topic, swapping in NA options here or there, and/or taking a break from drinking (with no commitment to quitting forever or even for a set amount of time) and paying attention to how you feel.
The one thing I will note is that while most people in my life have been super supportive, occasionally the reaction would be very incredulous/judgy (“Not even one drink?” “But what about a nice glass of wine with dinner?” Etc). It’s weird but drinking is the one behavior that is not good for us that society encourages and pushes back against us giving up. Just remember that these reactions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person having them, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for how you live your life. It’s no different than opting to be vegan or vegetarian. Anyway, hope some of this is helpful!
My hangovers aren’t too bad, but I definitely felt the parallel between what you have written and my having to come to terms with having become lactose intolerant. Cheese is one of my great loves in life, but the bloating and digestive discomfort was getting really bad. Lactaid helps a little but I hate how much better I feel when I cut out dairy. So it has been a process of cutting it out mostly while occasionally going ham on a cheese plate.
I don’t drink anymore - alcohol makes me feel crappy and sad and I don’t like losing time feeling bleh! There’s nothing I love more than feeling great all weekend - clear and rested and up for anything (even if that anything is just lounging around the house all day :). I live in Northern California and amongst my friends, many don’t drink anymore, or do so sparingly. Microdosing mushrooms and marijuana (primarily edibles) are potentially more common than alcohol for social events these days, at least where I live. It’s definitely something that’s top of mine for many people our age!
Omg Kelly. THIS! As I got later into my 20s, my hangovers did get worse, but not as bad as they have into my early 30s. It is honestly the surprise hangovers that get me the most. The hangovers where I have eaten a full meal, drank enough water, then had additional food/water before bed, gone to bed relatively sober, and woke up horrifically hungover. For me I often don't feel better until I puke, reset the stomach for a few hours (no water/food), then introduce bland toast with water. Then I can come back to life. But it is totally unpredictable! I find it is worse with night drinking, day drinking tends to reset better for some reason.
I am so tired of not knowing what state I will wake up in, so I agree with this entire comments section and have been limiting my alcohol intake. I just so can commiserate with your frustrations!
I've recently started becoming sober-curious, and it helps that the person I'm dating currently doesn't drink at all. At a recent physical, my doctor recommended an opiate antagonizer (naltrexone) to help curb the desire to have that second or third drink - something I've always had trouble with as a social drinker who lives in a city that lives and dies by happy hour (DC). it's been remarkable how much it's helped to take away the "high" feeling of a couple of drinks - and I've lost 15 lbs to boot, since it turns out, beer has a lot of calories! I feel great and am sleeping better and highly recommend talking to your doctor if you find that it's difficult to cut back drinking on your own.
This really resonates with my experiences! I stopped drinking for a year (after having it become a daily thing during COVID - not getting drunk but having at least 1 beer or wine every day) and honestly didn't miss it much at all, but for the past year have been more "damp", i.e., having a drink a couple times a month and more so on vacation, at weddings, and during the holidays. I think getting engaged and loving champagne made me want to enjoy a glass at various wedding-focused events and then I kind of got back into the habit of occasionally drinking. I also over the past three years have pretty much never wanted to drink red wine - I didn't realize I had a particular reason, but your post makes me think I subconsciously realized it made me feel worse?
My issue is that my reactions to alcohol are so uneven - sometimes I'll feel fine and other times I will feel AWFUL - heart racing in the middle of the night, sweating, horrible anxiety spikes that last for days - and it never ever feels worth it for the drinks the night before.
The one thing holding me back from totally cutting out alcohol - I love how many actually delicious mocktails there are now at restaurants and bars, and I adore Athletic Brewing Company (I love the run wild and free wave IPAs), BUT I have not found a good NA wine - they have either tasted like juice, vinegar, or something unfamiliar but certainly not wine lol! I think if/(hopefully) once NA wine is actually tasty I could go fully alcohol free! If anyone has any NA wines that are actually good, please let a girl know!!!
On another note - Drops of God on Hulu was a very fun wine-focused mini series - I think you and Paul would enjoy!
A couple things that help me: making sure I've done a good job drinking water all week and not just that night, sticking to natural wine (something about the additives in mass produced wine does not agree with me), and LMNT electrolytes. If I plan to drink more than 2 glasses of wine, I will take Zbiotics, which definitely works!
Samee! I very rarely drink anymore, in large part because if I have a glass of wine (early in the evening with water and food), I wake up at 3 AM with a full-on hangover/feeling poisoned. It's rough!
I can totally appreciate it, I also suffer with horrific hangovers and I just do not believe people who say they dont get them - I am so jealous! I can’t even fathom it 😂
Sometimes mine are so bad I can’t even keep water down. I’ve had a few that have lasted 3 days.. I had horrific hangovers at university - so bad that I would go a few months without drinking, after them.
You’ve probably thought of this, but are you making sure you’re drinking after eating a substantial meal? I find if I drink on an empty stomach, or having only eaten salad all day, my hangovers are horrifically worse. (Pretzels aren’t enough babes! 😂)
I also find that one glass of water in between definitely helps.
Also, not sure how helpful this is, but if I drink on the regular my hangovers are way less. But if I dont drink for ages, they are back to being savage! I guess it’s because I build up tolerance, so I’m fine, and then lose it when I dont drink?
If I have lots on I definitely won’t drink, I can’t cope with it!
We don’t drink and haven’t for years. My husband had a bad reaction from drinking a very strong Cosmopolitan...we think it was due to his medications. I may have a partial cocktail possible once a year at a wedding...but never finish...I have a very low tolerance and stop as soon as I feel a buzz.
My solution? Take a hit or two from a vape pen. Note...I really hate wine!
Oh man - I resonate so deeply with this post! I live in Los Angeles and one winter started drinking red wine since it was chilly out and I was old enough to appreciate it. I started getting massive migraines and saw every doctor for my teeth, eyes, and even had an MRI! A random doctor along the way asked if I was drinking red wine and I said yes and he told me I was most likely allergic and to try cutting it out all together. I haven't had a sip since and guess what? No migraines. A LOT of people are allergic to the tannins in wine, specifically red, so I would suggest staying away. I've also started to not feel great around white wine either - and I'm not a big drinker but when I do drink I stick to higher quality gin (hendricks) and tequila (casamigos) based drinks with naturally lower sugar mixers (i'm a martini and paloma gal!) and ifi just have one of those drinks i'm FINE the next day. Anyway, all bodies are different but wanted to share what has helped me be able to drink a bit without feeling hungover the next day! I'm also married to a big drinker who doesn't seem to get hungover either! Good luck!
I drink maybe once a week at most (sometimes go weeks without drinking), but I don’t normally have just 1 glass of wine, it’s usually 2 or 3. I’ve had similar issues as I’ve gotten older and also want to cut down on calories to get in better shape (also need to work on cutting out how much sugar I have), and have been looking for NA drinks for a “nightcap.” I’d love to know what people do/ consume after a long hard day or to wind down. For me, tea, writing, and watching tv hasn’t really helped. Also, trying to find NA substitutes that aren’t more expensive than alcohol has been hard for me. I’m open to suggestions!!
Also, does anyone else have this odd way of relating drinking something like a glass of wine with feeling like an adult or is it just me? 😂
This has been my exact experience as I’ve gotten older. I can usually have one drink and be ok, but more than one (even if spread out over an entire day, plenty of water, etc) triggers my insomnia and gives me horrible body anxiety the next day. I was never a huge drinker, but I’ve also cut back in the past year just to avoid feeling like shit — the drinks aren’t worth losing a whole day! It’s been nice to see restaurants start to offer more NA options on their drink menus, because I do still love to order a silly lil beverage when I go out, and getting to do it without tempting the hangover gods is great.
I am definitely this way, and it's not getting easier into my 40s. I also am not a supplements gal, but would love to hear if others have tried any and if they work!
With my husband and I having our own winery, I am in an interesting position with a lot of the same issues you raised. The one that seems to cause me the most issue is my 2am insomnia following a glass or two of wine. I have noticed that I generally don’t have the same issues with our own wines (lighter bodied Oregon Willamette Valley)
I stopped drinking almost two years ago and had zero intention of it lasting this long, but only positive things have happened as a result, so I have had no reason to start again. As you note, the proliferation of NA options--both in stores and on restaurant menus--has meant that I can still participate in many of the rituals around drinking (a cocktail at the fancy bar, a beer after work, a drink at a party) without any of the negative health effects of alcohol, which include not only bad hangovers but a myriad of other things. “Quit Like a Woman” and a few episodes of Liz Moody’s podcast dig into all the health issues surrounding alcohol if anyone is interested.
Whether to drink and what and how much are all very personal choices, and I used to drink A LOT and loved it--everything from the social lubrication to the pleasure of a great wine pairing to taking in the world with a fun buzz--so I totally get it that giving it up entirely can sound daunting. I never say I’m never going to drink again because I could see myself getting to a place where I have a drink once or twice a year. But with all the great NA options, I could also see myself staying the course. Again, no judgment to anyone who likes to drink, but it’s so nice knowing I will always wake up feeling good, I will remember everything I said and did the night before, and I am never going to cancel plans due to a hangover (I started having 2-3 day hangovers 😵💫).
If you’re questioning you’re relationship with alcohol, I would suggest checking out some books/articles/podcasts on the topic, swapping in NA options here or there, and/or taking a break from drinking (with no commitment to quitting forever or even for a set amount of time) and paying attention to how you feel.
The one thing I will note is that while most people in my life have been super supportive, occasionally the reaction would be very incredulous/judgy (“Not even one drink?” “But what about a nice glass of wine with dinner?” Etc). It’s weird but drinking is the one behavior that is not good for us that society encourages and pushes back against us giving up. Just remember that these reactions have nothing to do with you and everything to do with the person having them, and you don’t owe anyone an explanation or justification for how you live your life. It’s no different than opting to be vegan or vegetarian. Anyway, hope some of this is helpful!
My hangovers aren’t too bad, but I definitely felt the parallel between what you have written and my having to come to terms with having become lactose intolerant. Cheese is one of my great loves in life, but the bloating and digestive discomfort was getting really bad. Lactaid helps a little but I hate how much better I feel when I cut out dairy. So it has been a process of cutting it out mostly while occasionally going ham on a cheese plate.
I don’t drink anymore - alcohol makes me feel crappy and sad and I don’t like losing time feeling bleh! There’s nothing I love more than feeling great all weekend - clear and rested and up for anything (even if that anything is just lounging around the house all day :). I live in Northern California and amongst my friends, many don’t drink anymore, or do so sparingly. Microdosing mushrooms and marijuana (primarily edibles) are potentially more common than alcohol for social events these days, at least where I live. It’s definitely something that’s top of mine for many people our age!
Omg Kelly. THIS! As I got later into my 20s, my hangovers did get worse, but not as bad as they have into my early 30s. It is honestly the surprise hangovers that get me the most. The hangovers where I have eaten a full meal, drank enough water, then had additional food/water before bed, gone to bed relatively sober, and woke up horrifically hungover. For me I often don't feel better until I puke, reset the stomach for a few hours (no water/food), then introduce bland toast with water. Then I can come back to life. But it is totally unpredictable! I find it is worse with night drinking, day drinking tends to reset better for some reason.
I am so tired of not knowing what state I will wake up in, so I agree with this entire comments section and have been limiting my alcohol intake. I just so can commiserate with your frustrations!
... compared to bigger bodied California cabs and such which I used to love!
I've recently started becoming sober-curious, and it helps that the person I'm dating currently doesn't drink at all. At a recent physical, my doctor recommended an opiate antagonizer (naltrexone) to help curb the desire to have that second or third drink - something I've always had trouble with as a social drinker who lives in a city that lives and dies by happy hour (DC). it's been remarkable how much it's helped to take away the "high" feeling of a couple of drinks - and I've lost 15 lbs to boot, since it turns out, beer has a lot of calories! I feel great and am sleeping better and highly recommend talking to your doctor if you find that it's difficult to cut back drinking on your own.
This really resonates with my experiences! I stopped drinking for a year (after having it become a daily thing during COVID - not getting drunk but having at least 1 beer or wine every day) and honestly didn't miss it much at all, but for the past year have been more "damp", i.e., having a drink a couple times a month and more so on vacation, at weddings, and during the holidays. I think getting engaged and loving champagne made me want to enjoy a glass at various wedding-focused events and then I kind of got back into the habit of occasionally drinking. I also over the past three years have pretty much never wanted to drink red wine - I didn't realize I had a particular reason, but your post makes me think I subconsciously realized it made me feel worse?
My issue is that my reactions to alcohol are so uneven - sometimes I'll feel fine and other times I will feel AWFUL - heart racing in the middle of the night, sweating, horrible anxiety spikes that last for days - and it never ever feels worth it for the drinks the night before.
The one thing holding me back from totally cutting out alcohol - I love how many actually delicious mocktails there are now at restaurants and bars, and I adore Athletic Brewing Company (I love the run wild and free wave IPAs), BUT I have not found a good NA wine - they have either tasted like juice, vinegar, or something unfamiliar but certainly not wine lol! I think if/(hopefully) once NA wine is actually tasty I could go fully alcohol free! If anyone has any NA wines that are actually good, please let a girl know!!!
On another note - Drops of God on Hulu was a very fun wine-focused mini series - I think you and Paul would enjoy!
A couple things that help me: making sure I've done a good job drinking water all week and not just that night, sticking to natural wine (something about the additives in mass produced wine does not agree with me), and LMNT electrolytes. If I plan to drink more than 2 glasses of wine, I will take Zbiotics, which definitely works!
Samee! I very rarely drink anymore, in large part because if I have a glass of wine (early in the evening with water and food), I wake up at 3 AM with a full-on hangover/feeling poisoned. It's rough!
Kelly - I have SO many thoughts about this!
I can totally appreciate it, I also suffer with horrific hangovers and I just do not believe people who say they dont get them - I am so jealous! I can’t even fathom it 😂
Sometimes mine are so bad I can’t even keep water down. I’ve had a few that have lasted 3 days.. I had horrific hangovers at university - so bad that I would go a few months without drinking, after them.
You’ve probably thought of this, but are you making sure you’re drinking after eating a substantial meal? I find if I drink on an empty stomach, or having only eaten salad all day, my hangovers are horrifically worse. (Pretzels aren’t enough babes! 😂)
I also find that one glass of water in between definitely helps.
Also, not sure how helpful this is, but if I drink on the regular my hangovers are way less. But if I dont drink for ages, they are back to being savage! I guess it’s because I build up tolerance, so I’m fine, and then lose it when I dont drink?
If I have lots on I definitely won’t drink, I can’t cope with it!
We don’t drink and haven’t for years. My husband had a bad reaction from drinking a very strong Cosmopolitan...we think it was due to his medications. I may have a partial cocktail possible once a year at a wedding...but never finish...I have a very low tolerance and stop as soon as I feel a buzz.
My solution? Take a hit or two from a vape pen. Note...I really hate wine!
Oh man - I resonate so deeply with this post! I live in Los Angeles and one winter started drinking red wine since it was chilly out and I was old enough to appreciate it. I started getting massive migraines and saw every doctor for my teeth, eyes, and even had an MRI! A random doctor along the way asked if I was drinking red wine and I said yes and he told me I was most likely allergic and to try cutting it out all together. I haven't had a sip since and guess what? No migraines. A LOT of people are allergic to the tannins in wine, specifically red, so I would suggest staying away. I've also started to not feel great around white wine either - and I'm not a big drinker but when I do drink I stick to higher quality gin (hendricks) and tequila (casamigos) based drinks with naturally lower sugar mixers (i'm a martini and paloma gal!) and ifi just have one of those drinks i'm FINE the next day. Anyway, all bodies are different but wanted to share what has helped me be able to drink a bit without feeling hungover the next day! I'm also married to a big drinker who doesn't seem to get hungover either! Good luck!