#39. Come On Barbie, Let’s Go To The Eras Tour

Barbie and Taylor Swift have one important thing in common. Did you catch it?

Margot Robbie as Barbie, and Taylor Swift at the Eras Tour

If there’s one thing I know to be unequivocally true: It’s the summer of Barbie and Taylor Swift. Are you sick of hearing about them yet?! The Federal Reserve recently said that the Eras Tour is legitimately stimulating the economy, and it’s estimated that Taylor could contribute $5 billion dollars to the worldwide economy by the time she’s finished. Meanwhile, Greta Gerwig’s Barbie has just sailed past $1 billion in ticket sales, breaking the record for a female director. Somehow I had the absolute honor and pleasure to see Taylor Swift play twice this summer, and have told multiple friends I’d be happy to see Barbie again in theaters any time. Last weekend, I flew back to L.A. and went to what was originally the last show of the U.S. leg of the Eras Tour, but she added three more L.A. shows before heading to Mexico City later this month; the last one is tonight.

Between a breakup with Joe Alwyn this spring, a weird, short-lived romance with Matty Healy, the Seattle Eras Tour show causing seismic activity appropriately dubbed the “Swift-Quake”, and Speak Now (Taylor’s Version) pushing Taylor over the edge to break the record for most No. 1 albums sold by a female artist in history–there’s a lot going on in the Taylorverse right now. You can also blame me for publishing this issue on 8/9; we’ll see if Taylor announces 1989 (Taylor’s Version) today like everyone seems to think she will. Unfortunately, I am one of the people who absolutely cannot wait for this album to drop. I need “Style” ft. Harry Styles to be a real thing!!!

Barbie, similarly, has been absolutely on fire this summer. Apparently, there’s a good reason for that: Warner Bros. spent more on marketing the Barbie movie than they did making it; just a cool $150 million. Normally I would be the first to criticize this unbelievably exorbitant and completely unnecessary expense, but Barbie became a pop-culture feminist-adjacent moment instead of just another feel good, funny movie. When was the last time you tried to get tickets to a movie on opening day and couldn’t find a single theater in your city that wasn’t already sold out? (When was the last time you even wanted to go see a movie on opening day at all?) Barbie is apparently causing a summer of breakups as the feminist ideology depicted in the movie has sparked friction between women finding their power in unbalanced relationships and men who would probably rather live in a mojo dojo casa house than a world that prizes gender equality. The amount of people I’ve seen wearing Barbiecore this summer has only been outpaced by the armfuls of friendship bracelets I’ve seen on Swfities of all ages.

Other than headlining the most significant pop-culture events of the summer, what do Barbie (the character) and Taylor Swift have in common? Beyond the fact that these cultural powerhouses are blonde, beautiful Millennials (Margot Robbie and Taylor Swift are both 33; Greta Gerwig is 40), Barbie and Taylor are both single women without children. While Greta Gerwig is married with two young children, the character she helped bring to life in the Barbie movie is a childfree icon, taking on seemingly every career under the sun except that of “mother.” Barbie also seems to be very fond of her Ken (played by Ryan Gosling in the movie), but he’s not exactly her boyfriend. I don’t think anybody knows Taylor’s stance on whether she’ll have kids someday (that’s her business), but right now, she’s a newly single woman without kids at the peak of her career, and doesn’t appear to be slowing down. Taylor has even recently said that she’s the happiest she’s ever been, and her fans have started calling her “mother;” a nod to the fact that she has assumed the role of inspirational provider and emotional support for so many people worldwide. (Note that this term and how it’s being used in this context actually comes from LGBTQ+ ballroom culture, and is now just entering the mainstream).

Personally, I fucking love that this summer was taken over by two powerful, unmarried women in their 30s who don’t have children. Honestly? It’s about damn time. I think it’s both healthy and really necessary for society to see women at this level of influence and success who are representative of a lifestyle that isn’t necessarily prized or celebrated. Not only are these two women being celebrated in society right now, they are absolutely dominating it. We are showing up with our dollars en masse to endorse everything they stand for, even if we don’t realize that’s what we’re doing. Barbie and Taylor are shining examples of life/career paths that don’t include motherhood; showing people that women in their 30s can be feminine (and feminist), successful, inspirational, single, powerful, and childfree all at once. Not everyone agrees (or cares) of course, as evidenced by the swaths of men who have walked out of the Barbie movie or the people who can’t name a single Taylor Swift song. But I love that these people are now the ones missing out on a major pop-culture moment that the rest of us are reveling in.

I’ve heard the complaints that Barbie was a little too “feminism 101” for a lot of people, and I understand that criticism, but I don’t agree. And sure, maybe this movie was just a larger ploy to rebrand Mattel to increase sales of their products, which is where the $150 million marketing budget came from. But you know what? Several women I have talked to about Barbie said they cried in the middle of the movie during Gloria’s speech. Even if the message was simple, it summed up how so many women (especially those of us living in the U.S.) feel right now so beautifully and honestly, and it was delivered in a way that any person watching–no matter what they do or don’t already know about feminism–can understand.

It’s a bit depressing that we need this message of feminism and equality to be made so clear and palatable for even the most clueless person to understand, but unfortunately I think it was a necessary choice. Judging by how many men were enraged by the movie or didn’t want to see Barbie because it was “so feminist” (or let’s be honest, because they related the most to Ryan Gosling’s Ken in his patriarchy era), this country is currently in a place where that’s exactly what we needed to hear. I’m not sure it was entirely a coincidence that the woman they cast to deliver this message in the film is literally named “America.”

America Ferrera as Gloria in Barbie

“It is literally impossible to be a woman. You are so beautiful, and so smart, and it kills me that you don't think you're good enough. Like, we have to always be extraordinary, but somehow we're always doing it wrong.

You have to be thin, but not too thin. And you can never say you want to be thin. You have to say you want to be healthy, but also you have to be thin. You have to have money, but you can't ask for money because that's crass. You have to be a boss, but you can't be mean. You have to lead, but you can't squash other people's ideas. You're supposed to love being a mother, but don't talk about your kids all the damn time. You have to be a career woman but also always be looking out for other people.

You have to answer for men's bad behavior, which is insane, but if you point that out, you're accused of complaining. You're supposed to stay pretty for men, but not so pretty that you tempt them too much or that you threaten other women because you're supposed to be a part of the sisterhood.

But always stand out and always be grateful. But never forget that the system is rigged. So find a way to acknowledge that but also always be grateful.

You have to never get old, never be rude, never show off, never be selfish, never fall down, never fail, never show fear, never get out of line. It's too hard! It's too contradictory and nobody gives you a medal or says thank you! And it turns out in fact that not only are you doing everything wrong, but also everything is your fault.

I'm just so tired of watching myself and every single other woman tie herself into knots so that people will like us. And if all of that is also true for a doll just representing women, then I don't even know.” –Gloria’s speech in Barbie

As far as Taylor is concerned, people (including me; I am people) love her because she’s also just so goddamn relatable. You don’t even have to like her to recognize the power and truth in that statement. She makes catchy music, but it’s the subject matter that counts–it’s mostly about her own life and all the different things she’s been through building a career alongside her personal life over the last 20 years or so. She’s got a relatable story/song for pretty much anything you might be going through, and women and girls of all ages look to her for inspiration.

I was at the L.A. show on Saturday where one of the surprise songs was “You’re On Your Own Kid,” which tells the story of Taylor feeling like she tried so hard to fit in and make people like her when she was younger, and someone two rows behind us had to sit down she was sobbing so hard. At the Minneapolis show in June, I watched as a teenager in front of me FaceTimed two friends during “Dear John”–Taylor’s masterpiece about dating someone who was much older and realizing how messed up their relationship was once she was out of it–and they all sobbed together. I myself shed a tear or two at both shows.

I feel like the women in our country need a nice group cry right now. And maybe this is the push we need to start talking–like really, actually talking–about career-driven women without kids, their contributions to society, and paths to creating meaning in their lives that don’t include parenting. Barbie is a fictional character who has been childfree for over 60 years, and Taylor Swift can choose whatever she wants to in the future. But right now, in this moment, these two single, childfree women have completely stolen the summer. Not all of us can be as influential as Barbie or Taylor, but I think we can all afford to become a little more compassionate, and learn to fully embrace each other no matter where we are in life. I just turned 34, and heard a new one recently about my choice not to have kids: “There’s still time to change your mind.” Here’s my feedback to that statement: What about telling someone like me that there’s still time to do any of the various career-related aspirations I have instead?

Very proud of my friendship bracelets TYSM

As a woman who doesn’t want kids, I truly never thought I would partake in the absolute delight of making friendship bracelets ever again before this weekend. And when a 12 year-old Swiftie approached me at LAX on Sunday because she saw a colorful beaded bracelet on my arm and asked if I wanted to trade with her, I said “of course!” without hesitation. She passed me a hot pink bracelet as I apologized for only having one option to trade with her, but she seemed thrilled. After a quick “thanks!,” she abruptly turned and ran back to her mom, tossing her blonde curls over her shoulder. I walked away towards my gate smiling, daydreaming about what kind of woman she might turn out to be.

K bye,

Kelly