The best work advice I ever got was from a former manager who told me (after I expressed guilt over taking some last minute leave during a busy time of the year) "No one looks back at their life wishing they had spent more time at work". I have since ceased to feel any guilt about protecting my free time.
It’s my mom who doesn’t value my free time lol. If I had kids I feel like she’d be bending over backwards for me, but since I have none (yet? Who knows tho) she’s like I can bother her, she has nothing going on!
Free time is the best thing in the world, and as Kelly wrote, there are a million different ways you can use it. I wish the husband in the story could reframe his reaction: instead of questioning how someone spends their free time, why not admire the effort and love it takes to create something for others? Let’s stop measuring others' free time by our own. Just say thank you — and enjoy the gift.
I also really appreciated Kelly’s dive into the psychology of American work culture — it’s a reminder that the husband’s comment wasn’t necessarily rude, just reflective of the pressure many of us feel to always be “productive.”
Personally, I spend a lot of my free time reading. It relaxes me and brings me joy — yet I’ve often felt judged for it. (Mostly by friends/family who used to be avid readers, but have stopped due to the never-ending to-do list that comes with kids and housework.) But the truth is, we all have choices. Even when life feels busy, we make time for what matters to us. So let’s make space for each other’s choices, without judgment or comparison. Life is just more enjoyable when we do.
I've also received snarky comments for reading a lot! I don't have kids but I do work full time and have an active social life, but I love to read so I prioritize it. I've had both childfree people and parents make comments along the lines of "I wish I had time to read as much as you..." and it's like...you do, you just choose to do other things? Leave me alone??
YES exactly this, people who read a lot tend to read quickly, but they also are usually not doing binge marathons on Netflix, either. They're prioritizing reading, like anyone can prioritize anything they love. It's not that you "have the time," it's that you're *making* the time
The best work advice I ever got was from a former manager who told me (after I expressed guilt over taking some last minute leave during a busy time of the year) "No one looks back at their life wishing they had spent more time at work". I have since ceased to feel any guilt about protecting my free time.
AMEN!
It’s my mom who doesn’t value my free time lol. If I had kids I feel like she’d be bending over backwards for me, but since I have none (yet? Who knows tho) she’s like I can bother her, she has nothing going on!
Free time is the best thing in the world, and as Kelly wrote, there are a million different ways you can use it. I wish the husband in the story could reframe his reaction: instead of questioning how someone spends their free time, why not admire the effort and love it takes to create something for others? Let’s stop measuring others' free time by our own. Just say thank you — and enjoy the gift.
I also really appreciated Kelly’s dive into the psychology of American work culture — it’s a reminder that the husband’s comment wasn’t necessarily rude, just reflective of the pressure many of us feel to always be “productive.”
Personally, I spend a lot of my free time reading. It relaxes me and brings me joy — yet I’ve often felt judged for it. (Mostly by friends/family who used to be avid readers, but have stopped due to the never-ending to-do list that comes with kids and housework.) But the truth is, we all have choices. Even when life feels busy, we make time for what matters to us. So let’s make space for each other’s choices, without judgment or comparison. Life is just more enjoyable when we do.
People judge you for reading?! That feels CRAZY!!!!
I've also received snarky comments for reading a lot! I don't have kids but I do work full time and have an active social life, but I love to read so I prioritize it. I've had both childfree people and parents make comments along the lines of "I wish I had time to read as much as you..." and it's like...you do, you just choose to do other things? Leave me alone??
YES exactly this, people who read a lot tend to read quickly, but they also are usually not doing binge marathons on Netflix, either. They're prioritizing reading, like anyone can prioritize anything they love. It's not that you "have the time," it's that you're *making* the time