This metaphor is really working for me. Except now I want a BR slushie that will almost certainly make me feel like shit. Great piece!!
I’m probably slightly more of a blue raspberry mom unless I’m really going through it and need to vent —or—I’m authentically feeling moved by something my kid did or something I learned through motherhood but when I think about it more, the latter I can feel more protective of. When I look at my writing, which is sort of a reflection of how I connect with friends, it’s a smattering. It’s just whatever is coming up for me.
In terms of the question, which I think is a very good one and one I have at times as a mother myself, is aligned with what Kelly shared. It makes sense you feel this way and it’s ok to reorient for a little bit toward where you feel more connected. In my experience people are talking through things because they can’t not. They’re working through something and that’s their right, just as it is yours to notice it’s hard to be present and compassionate in a conversation that feels mostly filled with parenting talk. There is the saying in the type of therapy I do, “you deserve the support that feels supportive to you.” I would say that could be applied on both ends of these friendships. They deserve connections with those who can get down into the muck of parenting with them and you deserve connections where you feel space to talk about what interests you—sometimes those things intersect and sometimes they don’t.
This is (at least mostly) also behind a paywall but Diabolical Lies, a much further left publication here on substack, did a recent episode about pronatalism and the left. As you mentioned in the beginning of the newsletter, if you're a woman of a certain age everyone is talking about kids and parenting in some way.
Mom of 2 here who is not a kid person (love/like my own and a few select others, but that’s it). You can be both!
I love a swirly slushie!!
This metaphor is really working for me. Except now I want a BR slushie that will almost certainly make me feel like shit. Great piece!!
I’m probably slightly more of a blue raspberry mom unless I’m really going through it and need to vent —or—I’m authentically feeling moved by something my kid did or something I learned through motherhood but when I think about it more, the latter I can feel more protective of. When I look at my writing, which is sort of a reflection of how I connect with friends, it’s a smattering. It’s just whatever is coming up for me.
In terms of the question, which I think is a very good one and one I have at times as a mother myself, is aligned with what Kelly shared. It makes sense you feel this way and it’s ok to reorient for a little bit toward where you feel more connected. In my experience people are talking through things because they can’t not. They’re working through something and that’s their right, just as it is yours to notice it’s hard to be present and compassionate in a conversation that feels mostly filled with parenting talk. There is the saying in the type of therapy I do, “you deserve the support that feels supportive to you.” I would say that could be applied on both ends of these friendships. They deserve connections with those who can get down into the muck of parenting with them and you deserve connections where you feel space to talk about what interests you—sometimes those things intersect and sometimes they don’t.
Love this answer Kaitlyn, thank you! x
This is (at least mostly) also behind a paywall but Diabolical Lies, a much further left publication here on substack, did a recent episode about pronatalism and the left. As you mentioned in the beginning of the newsletter, if you're a woman of a certain age everyone is talking about kids and parenting in some way.
https://www.diabolicalliespod.com/p/who-wants-kids
Love this, thank you! Will listen!
The Opt Out is such a good read, week after week. I read every word and always leave with something to think about for days afterward.
Omg thank you!!!! 🥹