January '26 ins/outs
⚡️ICE OUT⚡️
When the clock struck January 1st this year, I (very naively) thought most of the really bad shit was already behind us. 2025 was a garbage-ass year for so many people (not just for me personally), and 2026, for a blissful six days, felt like a blank slate. Paul and I spent the first few days of January driving back home from visiting my parents in Arizona and appreciating the absolute beauty in parts of the country we don’t visit very often.
Then, on January 7th—the same day my adopted hometown of Los Angeles caught fire in 2025—Renee Nicole Good was shot and killed in Minneapolis. 2,000 ICE agents had been deployed to the Twin Cities the day before, in what is apparently the largest immigration enforcement operation ever carried out in the United States. Alex Pretti was shot two weeks later, on January 24th. The irony is, of course, that both Renee and Alex were white U.S. citizens. They were shot for attempting to protect their neighbors and filming ICE agents taking police brutality to new levels; to prove that the right-wing media has truly lost its fucking mind.
Needless to say, it’s been hard for me to focus this month. I suddenly have a lot going on—making final edits to my novel before querying, recording the Ruby Warrington Winter Slow Read, writing this newsletter, applying to grad school, and diving into a new freelance job—but there’s a pervasive sense of anxiety underscoring every single thing I’m doing. I find myself bracing for impact of what I’m going to see and hear from my friends and on the news, so much so that I’ve had to cut myself off from Instagram for the first time in 15 years. (I’m doomscrolling on Substack Notes instead, which is 1000x less triggering and does not force me to watch Renee and Alex get shot again and again from different angles.)
Last fall I made big plans to spend most of January huddled inside by the fire, finally tearing through the Throne of Glass series, but instead I hit the streets in -9˚ weather to join 50,000 other Minnesotans at a protest downtown. I wore 12 articles of clothing plus a pair of ski goggles, and I was still legitimately in pain by the time we were back in the car, my fingers moving at half-speed while I texted Paul to tell him I was safe. The condensation from chanting “FUCK ICE / ICE OUT” for almost three hours into my fleece face mask eventually started to freeze over, giving me a full beard made out of fuzzy ice (ironic), and my toes lost feeling after about 90 minutes outside, despite thick ski socks and 5-star rated winter boots. The “feels like” temperature with wind chill was -25˚.
As we wove our way through the streets of downtown, there were dozens of smiling volunteers handing out free Gatorade, beef sticks, and steaming empanadas from an aluminum foil tray. Rectangular hand warmer packets littered the streets like Sweet Martha’s cookies at the Minnesota State Fair. I wish I had more photos, but every time I took my hand out of my glove to use my phone, I felt legitimately in danger of imminent frost bite. I missed my two favorite signs, “Stupid Canadian Wolfbird says GO HOME” and “Super Callous Fragile Racist Extra Awful POTUS.” Minnesotans do not get enough credit for how funny we are.
I am relieved that January is almost over, but also desperately sad and frustrated that the ICE occupation is going to drag into February. Will I be writing this same essay a month from now? We’ve been hearing whispers of which cities ICE might target next— does that mean they’ve had enough of terrorizing Minneapolis? Have they finally realized how idiotic it was to attack winter people this time of year? I don’t want ICE to move on to other cities, but at the same time, we can’t go on living like this.
I’ve never been as proud or as horrified to be a Minnesotan as I am right now. I’m also emotionally exhausted, but hopeful, because I have to believe that hope drives out hate. I know Harry Potter is supposed to be cancelled or whatever but I truly do-not-give-a-fuck because part of my moral compass as a child was formed by that series, and it is this line: "It is our choices, Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities” that makes me want to cry (hopeful tears???) this month. It is the ordinary people who show up, who care, who fight back and stand up for what they believe in, that matter most. That is Minnesota. Is it you, too?
One of the best things I’ve read recently about what’s happening in Minneapolis is by Jeannine Ouellette, who was also at the January 23 protest with her grandson. In her essay, “Alex Pretti, and Why We Must Show Up,” she says:
“These horrific, public murders in Minneapolis are a harbinger of what’s next, as Heather Cox Richardson warns us in her insightful and incisive Facebook live yesterday. This is an inflection point, she says. The final and most important “check” in the system of checks and balances is, she reminds us, the people.
We the People.
It is our responsibility to stand against this attack on not just the Constitutional rights of all Americans, but also the basic human rights of our neighbors and the flagrant dismantling of our democracy. Now is the time for us as ordinary people to demand that we and our neighbors be seen, heard, recognized, and respected.
To the family and friends of Alex Pretti, to those who loved him tenderly, and to all those who grieve him and Renee Good and the hundreds of thousands of others who have been detained, displaced, or hurt in the past year: I stand with you and offer my deepest compassion.
I will not turn away.
May we continue to show up for each other—in grief, in protest, in caring for neighbors, in calling for truth—with persistence and with love. May we resist the hardening of our hearts and the erosion of our liberties and of our very humanity not with apathy but with steadfast solidarity. May our heartbreak fuel not withdrawal, but collective, unified action: to protect life, to protect dignity, and to protect each other.”—Jeannine Ouellette
Thank you, Jeannine, for putting so eloquently what I feel but couldn’t find the right words to say. Please continue to visit standwithminnesota.com or follow The Smitten Kitten on Instagram for ways you can help, even (and especially) from afar.
Because darkness must always be balanced with light, I’ve gone ahead and compiled my usual monthly ins/out list for January. This one is free for everyone because that’s the mood I am in today. Please enjoy. x
1. Heated Rivalry on HBO Max— Never in a million years could I have predicted that I would go this feral for a gay hockey romance. Heated Rivalry took over the entire internet this month and that’s because it’s absolutely fucking fantastic. It’s such an antidote to so many of the shitty romcoms out there; no offense to romcoms. The dynamic between Ilya and Shane kind of reminds me of Chuck and Blair, but less toxic?? I almost fainted during the club scene. Season 2 can’t come quickly enough.
2. Madewell ‘Wide Leg Jeans’ in black ($148) — I truly cannot say enough good things about these jeans. I’ve been very into a high waisted / wide leg look with a cropped top for a year or two now, but I hadn’t tried the look in black. It’s so good!!!! 5 stars from me.
3. “Talk to Me” and “Sexistential” by Robyn — I can’t believe we’re getting a new album from Robyn this year; her first since 2018!! Luckily she blessed us with two singles before the album drops and they are both BANGERS. The internet had lots of opinions on “Sexistential” (and her outfit) when she performed it live on The Late Show; I thought it was iconic.
So I was about to go have a kid on my own
And then my doctor said, "Now, Robyn, who would be your dream donor?"
Well, Adam Driver always did kinda give me a boner
She like, "Yeah, wasn't he great in Don't Mess With The Zohan?"I've been on Raya while on IVF
PTSD from all the tests
Hormonal rants on IG
Scrolling my feed while breastfeeding
Spent too much on Etsy
Expensive shit I don't need
Bossy, bad, and bougie
Like push, push, hold it, breathe
4. Tell Me Lies Season 3 on Hulu — Season 1 is great, Season 2 is FIRE, and Season 3 is, so far, predictably incredible but also anxiety-inducing as fuuuuuuuck. Stephen and Lucy are television’s most toxic couple, and I’ll admit it’s getting harder to watch Stephen really come into his role as a total psycho. I mean, it’s also thrilling. But I was literally screaming, “RUN, LUCY!!!!! GET OUT OF THERE!!” at my TV at the end of episode 3. Diana’s abortion arc in episode 4 is also a massive win for representation on TV. Given what Stephen did in episode 3, though, I have a hard time believing there will be another season after this. I think this may be the grand finale and I’m buckled in for the ride.
5. ILLIYOON Ceramide Concentrate Cream — I’ll admit the internet has recently lured me into having a casual interest in Korean skincare. I’m **extremely** picky with skincare and rarely try anything new, but some reviews I read online assured me that this winter-appropriate face cream is sensitive skin approved, so I tried it. Honestly, I think I’m in love????? I’ve used this every day for a month and my skin looks way better than it should for January in Minnesota.
6. Disappoint Me by Nicola Dinan — This was the best book I read in January by a long shot. If you are a fan of my favorite genre, literary romance, then this is a must-read. Disappoint Me is also my new favorite book about the trans experience, even more so than Detransition, Baby (which is mentioned in this novel!)
7. Applying to grad school — This felt like an important milestone even though I’m still waiting to hear back, but my application to start a MA in Counseling degree is safely in the hands of the only school I applied to. Fingers crossed.
8. Harry Styles’ new single, “Aperture” — Out of absolutely nowhere, Harry told us he’s releasing a new album in March. THANK GOD. “Aperture” is the first single, and I’ll admit, and I’m really intrigued. (The music video is delightfully strange.) It sounds like Harry, but also like Coldplay if Coldplay was embracing a bit more of the electronic sound that (I would argue) Charli xcx made cool during our beloved Brat summer? Also, is this new album inspired by Harry falling in love with Zoë Kravitz????? (One of his most famous ex’s best friends?!!!???) I can’t wait to find out.
9. All the Minneapolis protest signs — I wish it was summer and I had more photos of all the amazing signs I saw this month. I, naturally, am drawn to the more humorous ones.
10. Merit ‘Shade Slick’ in Biarritz — I tried Merit’s tinted lip oil a few years ago and liked it, but the color I got was too pigmented for me and I never reached for it. This, though? I’ve worn this color pretty much every day since I got it. It’s like a gloss but not sticky. The color is a pinky-nude that looks like you tried, but not too hard. I love it.
11. Finishing my query letter — I took a bit of a different approach with my query letter this year. I was a finalist in a contest in December, and the prize was a one hour call a few weeks ago with the people who organize the contest. I used that call to work on my query letter, and damn, they made it way better! I also hired an editor on Fiverr to do a final polish and I’m feeling like I’m in a good place with it. I also made a pitch deck (natch). I’m excited to see what happens!
1. People We Meet on Vacation on Netflix — I’m so sorry to all the Emily Henry fans out there, but this just wasn’t for me. I can see how other people would love Poppy and Alex, but honestly I didn’t like either character (although I think the performances were good, if that makes sense??? If you love Emily Bader and haven’t seen My Lady Jane, that is a mistake.) I really, genuinely feel like I am “missing something” when it comes to Emily Henry stories and if anyone wants to explain it to me I am all ears. (I want to like them! I like her (as in Emily) so much!)
2. The ICE invasion of Minnesota — Need I say more? This is the ultimate and only “out” that matters. Literally, get the FUCK OUT OF MINNEAPOLIS.
That’s all I have. Please come tell me a few good things before you go? ❤️
From your northern neighbour, damn. I think most of us Canadians are pretty desensitized to the daily horror show that is the US, currently, but everything happening in Minneapolis has really gotten me. Like Canadians, I believe Minnesotans are some of the warmest, kindest people you could meet but also - importantly - tough as fucking nails. Nothing but respect for you and all of the people who are doing their best to make a difference there (and the signs are top-tier!!).
Powerful piece. The detail about protesting in -25 wind chill really underscores the commitment here. That's not performative activism, thats putting your body on the line in conditions that are genuinely dangerous. The frozen face mask and numb toes isn't somthing people forget, and I think thats exactly the point. When 50,000 people show up in that kind of cold, it sends a message that can't be ignored.