#108. Olivia Munn said postpartum was harder than cancer

Damn, that's a sentence

Olivia Munn, 44 year-old actress and one of the world’s most beautiful humans, opened all the way up in an interview with SELF magazine last week. She talked about a lot – mostly her battle with breast cancer and having her second baby using a surrogate – but the headline I saw everywhere was: Olivia Munn said postpartum was more difficult than going through cancer.

That’s a big statement. Cancer is probably my #1 fear in life, and Olivia admitted her experience with postpartum anxiety was worse. I don’t think she was trying to scare anyone – just speaking her truth. The anxiety hit a month after her son, Malcolm, was born in 2021, a few years before she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Here’s what she said:

“My eyes pop open at 4 a.m. I’m gasping for air. I get the tightness in my chest, and it’s like that all day long. It felt like the end of the world…. It was like when you watch a horror movie—the worst, scariest horror movie you can think of—that’s how my body felt. I would have to sometimes hold John’s arm from room to room. It was physical, almost as if I had sprained my knee.

When you stop breastfeeding immediately, your hormones drop, and postpartum can come in like a tornado. And I didn’t clock any of that and I didn’t tell anybody about that. Then it was like I fell off a cliff, and I was just falling and falling and falling and falling. It was more difficult than going through cancer.”

Olivia was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2023, then had several procedures, including a double mastectomy and a partial hysterectomy to remove her uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries (five surgeries in total). The approach was aggressive, but as of now, she’s cancer-free, even though there’s a high risk it will come back in the next five years. She had her second child by surrogate in 2024.

I’ve never had a child nor have I had cancer, so I’m not going to add much of my own commentary, but I really just want to fucking applaud her for saying the hard thing. The honest thing. I admire her willingness to speak her truth out loud to a national magazine.

If you haven’t heard the story about how Olivia found out she had breast cancer, you should: She took an online early detection test using this Risk Assessment tool, which ended up saving her life. She said:

“Nobody could predict what was going to happen in my life. No one could have protected me from it, either. I had to do it myself.”

Though Olivia was speaking about cancer, I like this quote a lot, and I’d apply it to my own life about motherhood. No one can predict what will happen if you have a child. Cancer isn’t something you choose, but motherhood is. And, honestly? I think a major reason I’ve decided not to have children is to protect myself from that ambiguity.

“What Porn Taught a Generation of Women” by Sophie Gilbert for The Atlantic

This is one of those essays I had no idea would resonate so much until about halfway through and my head was innocently nodding along and then I actually started absorbing the story and kind of felt disgusting?

So much of this seemed familiar. It was all too reminiscent of the beginning of the 21st century, when feminism felt similarly nebulous and inert, squashed by a cultural explosion of jokey extremity and Technicolor objectification. This was the environment that Millennial women had been raised in. It informed how we felt about ourselves, how we saw one another, and what we understood women to be capable of. It colored our ambitions, our sense of self, our relationships, our bodies, our work, and our art. I came to believe that we couldn’t move forward without fully reckoning with how the culture of the aughts had defined us.

“She Had a Baby. I Lost a Friend.” by Sabrina Molu for The Work Wife

Some of this issue is behind a paywall, but the free part talks about how everyone wants “a village” but people don’t always want to put in the effort it takes to build one. This observation about community and capitalism kind of slapped me in the face:

💲 Community ≠ Capitalism

I saw a TikTok recently where a guy was talking about how capitalism thrives on the fact that we don’t have community. That’s why we have Uber instead of asking a friend to take us to the airport. That’s why we have meal delivery services instead of friends bringing us food. That’s why we have postpartum support specialists instead of aunts, cousins, and friends helping us through those early months.

We don’t talk to each other anymore. This hyper independence is actually benefiting capitalism the most.

“Why Is Child Care So Expensive in Minnesota?” by Tiffany Lukk for Mpls St.Paul Magazine

This is kind of a niche statistic, but it affects so many of my friends (or will, eventually) and my eyes kind of bugged out my head a little:

What costs more, a year at the University of Minnesota or one at a daycare?

Unsurprising to many Twin Cities families, it’s daycare—specifically center-based infant child care. According to the Office on the Economic Status of Women, in 2024 it cost around $20,165 compared to $15,148 at the U. (And the cost is climbing: Recent data from the Economic Policy Institute shows that the average annual cost of infant care in Minnesota is $22,569, making Minnesota the third most expensive state for infant care.)

Magnolia Parks by Jessa Hastings is one of those books I can just tell some people would guzzle down like sweet tea in the summer, and others would chuck their copy across the room after a chapter or two because they’re convinced it’s rotting their brain cells. This wasn’t my most favorite flavor of delicious book chips like, say, Fourth Wing, but if you’re in the mood for something that feels like Gossip Girl in London, you’re in for a treat. Come for the A+ dramatic character dynamics, stay for the crush you will develop on Tom England.

(If you’ve read this book and loved it, this podcast episode is great.)

You probably thought I was going to comment on the Blue Origin trip to space this week, but!!! You’re right – normally I wouldn’t be able to pass it up, but even I’m already sick of all the coverage. I didn’t see any other headlines for DAYS.

There’s also something else happening this week that’s more important, honestly: Black Mirror is back, baby! I’m slowly making my way through season 7 of one of the best shows on television and savoring every minute. I hope they make 100 seasons because I will never, ever be sick of it. (I just Googled “nut allergy” to make sure we’re still living in reality, despite evidence to the contrary. The coast appears clear, for now…)

Next week, I have something important to share with you! I’m making a few small changes around here to launch us into summer (it’s 71˚ degrees as I type this and I’ve never been happier) and I can’t wait to tell you about them. I’ve also been sitting on a secret for a few weeks, and it’s time to tell you about that, too.